tricks of the trade

#1 the stall rule

First thing that a man is born with is a certain sense, and that sense is based in the bathroom. There is only one theory that may explain this, the magnetic theory that shows that opposites attract, and wankas repel from each other. Men never stand next to each other in the restroom, and there are only a few excuses that can break this rule. 1- You have already tinkled yourself. 2- You have not yet been baptized and do not know what is right and what is wrong, and 3 - you are a homosexual.

For example

#2 the silver rule

Bros before Hoes.

#3 The Golden Rule

Chicks before . . . . guys. No questions.

#4 B-DOG

This trick of the trade is for those ladies that didn’t like that last post that I had “”what girls really want.” Girls are not sexy or hotties, and you definitely don’t say that in front of them, but you hold it in till the coast is clear and she has left the room. When she is near by and can hear you talking to a buddy you nonchalantly bring up how much of a b-dog (beautiful daughter of god) she is. There is a 100% chance that she will ask you what that means . . . cut too . . . late night cuddle. This is a LDS trick so don’t pull it on any old girl.

brick roads

WE ALL HAVE A JOURNEY TO GO THROUGH,

WE ALL HAVE A PATH TO WALK UPON

AND WE ALL HAVE THE FINAL CHAPTER OF THAT JOURNEY TO WRITE.

The bricks were red,

It was windy and bumpy as sht.

My feet were hurting and I can’t even see what is coming up next on this damning road.

But on my journey I come to find a fresh pair of Nike free runs,

Comforting my aching feet and keeping me on my journey.

That brick road led me to many places,

I find a couch, a resting place to relax,

Warm beaches,

Lush forest,

And mountains as high as the sky can go.

But this deceiving road also leads me to the worst of places.

Thundering storms would mess up my day,

But that wasn’t even the beginning of my journey.

On my path I can see another, getting closer and closer to my own.

The path led a beautiful lady, with as much confusion as I.

Our paths soon joined and we became the best of friends,

But sometimes we create hurricane winds.

Our path would lead us across slender bridges,

But it would also lead us to a couch and maybe a bed . . . .

Later in our journey we would make cutE little paths and they would lead their own journey.

But on my journey I will see some stairs, but they are not meant for me to walk up,

But the gentle lady next to me.

Now once again my path is bumpy as fck.

And no more free runs on my feet.

But soon I will see those stairs.

And up those stairs is where all paths end.

What girls really want

Fellas this is a little man to man talk. some steps for yall to fallow, mostly for these pimps out their that are trying to get their lady and it just aint working for them.

#1 Get your G walk going

What this means is to walk with a limp in your non-dominant leg. I don’t know why it works but the ladies will go out of control. The more you move them hips, the hotter the lady you’ll attract. It will work a lot better if you have an actual limp, so I do think you should shoot yourself, no sacrifice no victory.

#2 Keep your PIMP hand strong

I know you see those guys that are whipped beyond saving, and once that happens there is no going back. You can’t be a little bich and follow your women like a dog in her Louis V. Be stronger than her bro, it aint that hard. And if she is stubborn. . . well you got two hands.

#3 Get her out of the spotlight

When you’re talking, that means it’s all about you. Not her and how her day was, because your day was hard and you need your back massaged. “the squeaky wheel get the oil!” She aint special, she just another chick trying to take that green.

#4 Triple A (attention, attention, attention)

Also known as peacocking! This is my favorite because just like the axe commercials, you will be like Santa Clause in a whore house. Dress to impress gentlemen, and remember nice guys do finish last in the game of love. In the deep jungles of Africa, the gorilla that bangs his chest the loudest gets first pick on the monkey line up. You want to be the first pick, if not you get stuck with 2^nd best monkey, and that is always bad news.

#5 The Phone Threat

A busy life means that you need to have short phone calls, none of this “you hang up,” “no you hang up!” That’s all a bunch of ish so turn away. One of the only reasons why you should be on the phone is because you need her to pick you up because you are far from hung over, and this just shows how responsible you are. So stick to “babe come pick me up, I'm drunk,” or “girl you need to go on a taco bell run for me,” and my favorite “hurry up and come over, I need some lovin.”

As long as you fallow these rules you will be the man with the pants on, king, the whopper, and just an all-around great guy.

I’ve been taken over

As a kid I always look up to the man on the peddle stool, I want to be that man, to feel his power, to be aware, as strong as him, to make those decisions that are worth more than the change in my pocket. But to be the man on top you have to be FEARLESS.

How can I do this if I am full of FEAR?

I am AFRAID of many things. . .

Heights

Birds

Police

Commitment

The future

Reading

Blindness

Dying

Mothers

Pregnant people

Denial

Apologizing

Failing

Embarrassment

Not having the warm water in the morning

Being home alone . . . forever

The car breaking down in a busy intersection

Not being able to pay for groceries

Growing up to be not who I wanted to be

Being afraid

No, to be the man on top you need to have FEARS, to embarrass them, to fix them, to face them. To take those fears and use them as the clay that form the pillars of your peddle stool. No more being FRIGHTENED, but be FEARED. You can't be taken over, you must take the fear over and step up.

Where are those hard times

It may have started when Eve took that first bite

And blood started to flow through those veins, and now all they could feel is the pain.

But now it’s all about who will rule the night

And in the cage, who rules that fight.

For some it’s about getting the cylinders running

But for others it’s the running that’s hard, or even being stuck in the bar.

Or the worker who can never be done and

When he gets to the house the work has only begun.

It’s where the wife and kids are stuck at home

Doing chores and school work, while the mommy was thinking staying home was the perk.

Now the hardest time for the kids is in her kingdom,

But even harder when their father is home to roam.

It can be the moment on stage for that rapper trying to rhyme

Or time wasted by a betrayer, his best friend telling him that it can only get better.

But he’s thinking that he is losing his reign

And his hardest time is getting back in the game.

Will it be when her daddy is walking her down that isle,

Or when your daddy is holding to your bike seat, while you peddling down your street?

It can be that tragedy holding back your smile,

But life is most definitely about that trial!

So don’t back down to the challenge, step up.

Grow some and walk with your back tall, holding up your fist saying, “I rule you all!”

But be humble in success and raise your cup,

There is only one man to thank when you’re looking up.

You Know What I'm Thinking. . .

IM THINKING ABOUT YOU

Like books think about being OPE NED

And

Lotion thinks about the MOTION

Like how drums think about being beat

And

Like children think about getting beat

IM THINKING ABOUT YOU

Like GANGSTA’S think about REPPIN’

And

Like DANCERS think about STEPPIN’

And

Like ROBIN thinks about . . . ROBBING

For the broke who are thinking about ROBIN

But are also thinking about the HOOD.

IM THINKING ABOUT YOU

WHEN YOU WALK ACROSS MY LINE OF VISION,

BUT WHEN I INTERACT THAT’S WHEN YOU KNOW IM LIVIN;

EVERTIME I HEAR MY NAME,

AND THEN TURN TO SEE THAT ITS NOT YOU,

EVERTIME I HEAR THE BLUES.

BUT I AM THINKING ABOUT YOU

Like clouds think about getting HIGHER,

And

Fatties think about getting LIGHTER,

And

Haters think about getting BRIGHTER,

And

How weezy thinks about getting . . . HIGHER?

But also like how he thinks about being a FIGHTER in the game.

IM THINKING ABOUT YOU

LIKE LOVE THINKS ABOUT ITS MEANING,

AND HOW MY MEANING FIGHTS FOR YOU.

are haters. . .

THe ones rApping abouT how thE Rain iS all green?

Or bumpin tHeir own Auto Tunes whilE they aRe live Streamin?

Because tHey be tAlking bouT mE like they weRe cloSe to my level,

But we all know tHey Are lisTening to mE while my bass tRebleS!